Hope you liked the last two parts (part 1 and part 2). At the very least, I hope I was able to say what you wanted to hear, because that's what you were probably looking for.
Now, something a little helpful. Something that I try often.
Remember I mentioned a book called Feeling Good? In that book Dr. Burns says something I've always wanted to hear, and I paraphrase:
Q. What do I have to do to build a healthy self-esteem?
A. Not a damn thing! Just stop beating up yourself about it!
Very deep, if you think about it. I mean, to really build-up your self-esteem, you really need to stop being one more person to belittle yourself. No need for that extra talent or ultra intelligence or super skill muscle. No.
Gold!
So, take your time and think about it. Give yourself a break. Stop in your tracks the next time you are tempted to call yourself stupid over a tiny mistake, or scold yourself for doing a sloppy job. Because that so called mistake was most likely a result of getting distracted, lack of energy as you were already tired, a drop in judgement because you did not have enough information, or one of the endless such possibilities. It definitely did not happen because you were stupid.
Be on your own side for a change, even if you have ample 'evidence' (rolling my eyes) of your stupidity or incompetence. Yes, really. As if the world isn't enough for you to have at the other side.
More than anything, just never, ever call yourself 'worthless', because the doc in the book says "there is no such thing as a worthless human being".
Once you start getting into the habit of rooting for yourself, once the beating stops, you can start to focus on:
Now, something a little helpful. Something that I try often.
Remember I mentioned a book called Feeling Good? In that book Dr. Burns says something I've always wanted to hear, and I paraphrase:
Q. What do I have to do to build a healthy self-esteem?
A. Not a damn thing! Just stop beating up yourself about it!
Very deep, if you think about it. I mean, to really build-up your self-esteem, you really need to stop being one more person to belittle yourself. No need for that extra talent or ultra intelligence or super skill muscle. No.
Gold!
So, take your time and think about it. Give yourself a break. Stop in your tracks the next time you are tempted to call yourself stupid over a tiny mistake, or scold yourself for doing a sloppy job. Because that so called mistake was most likely a result of getting distracted, lack of energy as you were already tired, a drop in judgement because you did not have enough information, or one of the endless such possibilities. It definitely did not happen because you were stupid.
Be on your own side for a change, even if you have ample 'evidence' (rolling my eyes) of your stupidity or incompetence. Yes, really. As if the world isn't enough for you to have at the other side.
More than anything, just never, ever call yourself 'worthless', because the doc in the book says "there is no such thing as a worthless human being".
Once you start getting into the habit of rooting for yourself, once the beating stops, you can start to focus on:
- learning from mistakes (experiences)
- identifying the real deficiencies and practice to reduce them
- use your now in lets-get-to-work attitude to stay focused on your work or studies or life in general
But these come later. First, just stop. Stop beating yourself.
Hope you are feeling better by now. Post a comment below, click on a few sponsored links around this page. Take Care! ;-)
Yours,
Aashish
P.S. I will write more about such ideas, but with a different title. Let this be the final part under the current heading, shall we? :-)
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