10 October 2015


Melancholy is good. Even though they won't quite admit it, most people enjoy melancholia more that the happy stuff. It's almost like a drug.
You take some and it gives you a bitter-sweet pain. But it's 'pain' and not 'happy', so you feel bad and sorry for yourself. It's so tempting, even addictive, to stay in that mood. You mildly feel like a victim, so the pressure to shake it off and dive into work, or take care of people, etc etc weakens a little bit. You tell yourself that you can slack off and do nothing. Even when you do manage to break out of this cycle of self-pity and inertia, you secretly crave to get back to it whenever you can. Doesn't that sound like addiction behaviour? A half-junkie or an occasional snorter may not look quite messed-up to the world on a normal day, but when he gets a chance, he goes straight for his stash to get a hit. In my view, a lot of people enjoy melancholy just like that. We even like movies telling melancholic stories because they let us live that fantasy for some time. 
Staying happy and being productive and generous is hard. Letting go of the past, dealing with the present, and looking ahead is hard. It takes a lot of physical and emotional energy. There are happy personalities too in this world, but those are relatively rare. Being melancholic is easier: you play the victim, or a tired-from-worldly-duties person, a broken heart, or vaguely 'someone who's been through stuff', and you have a valid license to stay in the shadows without high expectations of coming out in the sun and move forward in life with courage and hope. Even the idea of missing out on a lot of good things in life doesn't tempt you enough: you either feel unworthy of them, or don't think they're actually worth the trouble!  

Does that sound like you? Well, know this: you are not alone!

Take care,

P.S. Don't worry, I'm doing just fine. Just scribbling a few thoughts here. Really. :-)

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