06 December 2015


When I'm not working, I'm often looking for something 'interesting' to do. It could be something to watch on TV, something to explore about on the internet, something to write, make, design, think-up/think-through, whatever. It could be anything, as long as its something that would snag and hold my interest. However, most of the time when I'm bored to death, I just can't settle on what this interesting thing should be. Because in that moment everything feels not 'exciting enough' for some unknown reason. 
In other words: I'm very bored, I want to do do something 'cool' with my time, but I have no clue what I want to do. And so the free hours and days (weekends) go to waste and I stay in my perpetual state of anxiety about not having found anything worthwhile! It gets worse, though. I waste all of my down time in front of the TV with a glass of juice and a bowl of snacks, or browsing the app store looking for an exciting new app worth trying-out, or wading through wikipedia and other websites reading-up and refreshing my useless knowledge bank about useless things. 
So, cleaning-up my cluttered table and cupboard gets ignored, besides some other half-important chores. I get high on instant 'shots' of feeling wise and learned or like a connoisseur of movies or whatever by indulging in all the means to find moments of instant gratification. True happiness does not come that way, but I can't find the focus and energy to invest in any of the countless 'interesting' things I could do.
Weekends go by, leave days fly past, and days with less workload trot away, while I anxiously wait to stumble upon something exciting with hardly any patience to take the time to try a few things and settling on one thing. I mean, who has that kind of energy, right? It's hilarious!

All in all, a complete and utter waste of a lot of time and chunks of my life.

Do you feel the same sometimes? How often? I'd be very glad to know I'm not alone.


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